Bad boy bulldog

Photo by Angel Gomila

To the guy outside the door at 1:30 a.m. with the slobbery bulldog on a leash:

No. It's not funny that you goad your dog into barking and lunging at all of the customers coming in.

No. It's not funny when you tease your dog with a package of firewood, which the canine tries its best to destroy.

No. It's not funny when your crazy wife comes in, rounds up about 20 items, then turns away from the cash register saying, "You know, I've changed my mind. I'm not buying any of this."

No. It's not funny that after your wife leaves the store and takes the dog to the car, you storm in and ask loudly why we don't have any breakfast sandwiches prepared.

Yes. It's funny that when you leave the store, you'll have to get into a car with a worked-up, slobbery beast and a schizo bride.

Have a nice night!