"I like to experiment"

Photo by Horia Varlan on Flickr

2:15 a.m.: A woman that my wife would describe as "wholly unattractive" is waiting to check out, a cell phone plastered to her face.

I hear one side of the conversation:

"Well, I wasn't with HIM!"

"I don't cheat. But when I'm with My Man, I like to experiment."

"It was dark! You'd have to really be paying attention."

Hello! You're not with Your Man, you're standing in front of a person who just wants to finish mopping the bathrooms. The word "experiment" brings to mind Mary Shelley, not D.H. Lawrence.